College football is back!

Well, it is finally here; College Football is upon us &
I can literally feel myself getting excited & more importantly; becoming a nicer person. I would like to apologize to everyone that I've offended, been rude to or made cry since college football ended in January. Wow, I'm glad I got that out of the way. Now to poke fun at the greatest conference & fans in the country...the SEC.
1.Alabama-the only good thing about going through Alabama is going through Alabama. Ugly state & ugly fans. They believe wearing a hounds tooth hat can make up for lack of class & teeth,
2.Auburn-not much hate for these guys as they have identity issues. Don't know if they are Tigers, War Eagles or Plainsman. Know their university is out in the middle of nowhere, Feel like they are our step brother as 2nd fiddle to Alabama.
3.Arkansas-beautiful campus in the middle of nowhere. Fans are confused how to act when they are winning so they revert back to Sun-Fri ways & act like idiots.
4.Florida-talk about their glory days of 3 National Championships when they lost to 1 team each of those seasons while wearing jorts & sporting a mullet(business up front & party in the back)
5.Georgia-bless their little hearts. All the talent in the world with a mediocre coach but fan base scared to fire him because he is right with God.
6.Kentucky-should probably let their basketball team play football for 1 year
7.LSU-coached by an escaped mental patient so the fan base feel like he is family. Such nice fans before the game. They will share their coon ass fixins & cold beers but when the game starts their meds wear off & it is down right dangerous there.
8.Mississippi State-who cares! Need marine snipers on top of that high school stadium to shoot all the cow bell toteing fans. Annoying
9.Missouri-take them to Las Vegas & match their bets. Lucky ever since they came to the SEC.
10.Ole Miss-they will never be great but their tailgate is National Champions every year. So many beautiful woman in the Grove that I forget about the game.
11.South Carolina-coached by the Bobby Knight of college football with an ego the size of the Texas. He never coached a quarterback better than him in his mind. Most sluts at SC too as evidence of their cheer..."Go Cocks!"
12.Tennessee-God's team with the most vertical stadium in the country thus closer to heaven. We are a collection of a lot of these fore mentioned traits of other teams plus a fight song that is hated by every single team in the SEC. Fuck em. Rocky Top is it.
13.Texas A&M-12th man is illegal & they should be penalized. Had to build a bigger stadium than both UTs
14.Vanderbilt-should drop football program after the post gang rape slogan of "We don't need permission!"
Looking forward to putting 60 points on them this year. Just like old times.
Well that was fun. I would continue on with Michigan & Ohio State fans but I'm just not interested in either program.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett

Minimization has begun!

First the definition: the act of reducing something to the least possible amount or degree or position. For years I have been a hoarder in denial, for lack of a better title. I believed that in order for my life to have purpose or true meaning, I would have to collect treasure on my journeys around the world. I mistakenly was under the impression that all these things would enrich my soul & frankly help guard my mind against the "old timers" as my momma calls it. Now, I have come to the realization these things are holding me back from my mission : to travel the World. In order to truly venture out on my own with no looking back, I must get rid of everything that anchors me here. It is amazing the weird items I have amassed in my 47 years, especially since my family lost all in the mysterious house fire of 1979. Once you make a decision as monumental as this, at least in my humble opinion, it is humorous how much crap I've collected over the years. Don't get me wrong, I have some amazing treasure that makes me smile but it is only a symbol of a brief moment in my travels & my rich life. I use the term rich because for the purpose of reality.... maybe, barring me winning the Powerball, I may never have monetary wealth as this doesn't drive me. It is the open road, the hole in the wall pub &  the random encounters with my fellow man that truly makes me a wealthy soul. Of course I am fully aware I need money to travel & I'm currently in a feasibility study to travel as I help my fellow man as I go. Now before I embark on this epic Visionquest, I must completely downsize. Ponder for a moment of getting rid of everything you own & taking with you; only what fits in your back pack & a shoulder strap duffel bag. Now I will call b.s. on myself a small bit. I do plan to survive said Visionquest & return to the U.S. one day, so I will relegate myself to one big box that I plan to leave with my brother & maybe a few framed UT prints that are priceless to me, but EVERYTHING else has to go. I'm on a mission I tell ya.

So let us assume I have rid myself of all my worldly possessions, what know? I pack up my bags, make sure I can carry them & head out the door. Now for this adventure I'm leaving my troubles & the troubles of our great nation in my rear view mirror.I can't rely on Obamacare as I might just need the healing of a witch doctor in Trinidad or Tobago. I really don't know how long I will be gone & when I will return. I have 2  in country trips on the schedule for New Year's Eve at Ed Stewart beach & a birthday trip to New Orleans via an Amtrak train in February but after that, I'm green lighted. I have a 1 way flight segment on Southwest thanks to my buddy Cecil "the funky cold" Medina that will get me to Ft. Lauderdale, then after that Cuba via the Bahamas. Once I'm in Cuba, I'll see what happens. I will have a list of 100 things to do before I die in my backpack & a traveler, never a tourist's mentality. What could go wrong? Stay tuned.

Rip Pewett non-hoarder

P.S. the painting was one of the first items & only item sold that day at my yard sale. It was sold to the only people to stop by; Barry's sister & her family.

Guns blame us as a declining society

Today was a one of the darkest days in American history; a young man ended the dreams of 20 innocent children, 5 good educators & his own mother. The liberal media is always there to quickly find the culprit that is convenient; in this case it was weapons in this country. The truth is we as a people don't take personal responsibility for our actions anymore. The facts will come out soon enough about this man & why he chose to alter our lives forever. The truth of the matter is our society has been morally crumbling for centuries. When I was a child in the 4th grade at Grassland Elementary, we did something stupid & were sent to the Principal's office for corporal punishment(paddling). We never did it again. I made a big mistake when I was about 13 & my father took his belt to me saying" I promise you this will hurt you worse than me". I never did it again. I was terrified of my parents & they were good to me. I learned respect, fear & personal responsibility for my actions. I still make mistakes on a daily basis but I learned personal responsibility. Today our children are diagnosed with some disorder early, medicated, neglected & put in front of a video game that promotes violence. As a child I was told to look both ways before I crossed the street, play in the creek & when Mom rang the bell, I better come home pronto. We never questioned or spoke back to our parents, it was the law. Today, children talk to their parents as if they are equals & why not parents are helpless because of laws to protect children from the very people who have the biological right to make them   fear God, country & the back of their hand. With the divorce rate close to 60% in this country; one of our biggest problems in this country is single parent households. One parent must work 1 or more jobs & the children are left home alone to watch violent television or surf the Internet. What kind of future can a child have if this is his reality. In the same show you will see drug use, adultery & cold blooded murder. The  sickest part is the parents don't monitor their children's programs. They have given up. I have never wanted children but if I were a Dad,  I would put the fear of God in them. It makes them be better people down the road. The bottom line I believe is that our children have no hope for their future, They see it in our eyes & our apathy towards this fast approaching reality. We are quickly descending into a morally corrupt & apathetic society. The bottom line is we have given up on our children & they are lashing back at us as a society with guns instead of pens or signs. It could be knives, grenades or rocks; we have let society dictate how we raise our children & we are responsible for what happens. Shame on all of us. We know better. We were raised better. Don't blame guns, blame ourselves & our government for telling us how to raise our children.
May God have mercy on our souls.
Rip Pewett a man who owns zero guns
p.s. the picture is of a man who distributes wealth at the speed of sound, never has held a job & would give all of our guns to Russia if he could

Top 10 signs you have fallen out of the raft on the Ocoee

Well we made it back from our annual pilgrimage to Benton TN & the nearby Ocoee River. Every year we witness other rafters being thrown out of the raft & some of our crew as well. Luckily, I haven't been thrown out since my college days, thanks in part to luck & a couple blondes. While on the river in a fairly calm section our crew wondered what the top 10 signs you have ben thrown out of the raft might be. In no particular order I'm gonna give it a shot.
1. your guide yells " Swim you fucking idiot"
2. the person next to you is now looking down at you shaking their head
3. you are suddenly rehydrating & you didn't bring a bottle of water on the boat
4. some jack ass just hit you in the head with a bag full of rope
5. it has suddenly gotten so cold that your balls have shrunk up inside your body
6. everyone is trying to give you their paddle & you don't know why
7. you find a pair of Revo sunglasses on the bottom of the river
8. you feel like you are in the pinball game called "River Rocks"
9. you find yourself laying on the shore with some fat kid poking you while saying "Mr, are you dead?"
10. you are buying the 1st round at Log Cabin Inn & everybody is laughing at you

Never leave a man behind unless you leave two

Sometimes your life doesn't always go the way you had it planned & it teaches the importance of friendships. I recently planned, booked & departed on a birthday trip to the Florida Keys with 6 of my good friends. The trip started simply enough as we took off on Southwest & would be changing plans in Tampa before heading on to Ft Lauderdale to pick up our van. Well, here is were the story takes a turn. One of my guys has had some health related issues in the past but had been cleared to travel by his physicians. We were about 30 minutes into our hour & half flight to Tampa when he became unresponsive. To say it freaked us out would be the understatement of the trip sooo far. Well, lucky for let's just call him Rocky, a physician is seated right across the aisle from him & went to work on accessing the current condition of our friend. As he was doing this the good people of Southwest provided all the necessary equipment on board to keep Rocky stable until we landed. I was amazed when it was determined we needed to get him to the ground asap, the pilot put the 737 into warp drive. The next 45 minutes were some of the longest of my life & I didn't want to look back at my friend for numerous reasons so I started working on plan B. As it turns out, the rest of us pretty much did the same thing. Both of the guys that grew up with Rocky wanted to go with him to the airport; hell looking back I think they just wanted to ride in the ambulance. It was determined that Matt would take one for the team & the rest of us would continue on to Ft Lauderdale to await for an update. It was determined after being probed & forced to do a heart stress test in a robe listening to his theme song, he would have to return to his hometown to have a procedure done. Our crew spent the night in Palm Beach & would pick up Matt the next day to continue on my birthday trip....and then their were 6. We reflected on the safe departure of our friend back to Louisville with every beer with a toast. Damn, he received many toasts & was in our thoughts as we powered on to Key West. The next day in Key West we had another friend have a heart or heartburn related episode at an Irish pub at 11ish in the morning. I can't believe this is happening AGAIN so me being a guy with high blood pressure, I scramble to find some aspirin to thin his blood. I find them from a nice couple, pass them down & when they get to Barry...he takes them. He isn't the one having the episode by the way, he is just hungover. Anyway it turns out to be a false alarm so we keep going. This trip turned out to be one of my best trips ever & I'm thankful our friend is making a speedy recovery. Reflecting back on the trip I realize how fortunate we are to have friends who are there during the good, the bad & the ugly times. Rocky has already RSVP for the trip next year back to Key West. I hope the rest of the crew follows suit.
Cheers,
Rip
p.s. a friend gave me a bit of advice & I'm so glad I didn't repeat it on the plane before we took
off for Tampa. " Don't die on your vacation as people will think you are lame"

When I was a kid, I was allowed to be a kid

It is hard to isolate the worst thing happening in our great country but the demise of one's childhood is in the top 10 in my opinion. What I mean is children are being forced to grow up way too fast in this society. I grew up in Brentwood, a small, rural town in Northern Williamson county. Now that is funny & precisely my point. If you compare the Brentwood I grew up in & the current town then you see exactly what I'm talking about. When I was a kid we were allowed the freedom to explore the creek across the street, the houses being built in the neighborhood & the cave behind our house with little warning given by our parents. We were told "Look both ways before you cross the street & you better come home when we ring the bell". Today kids are scared to play in creeks or caves & would rather play video games or surf on the Internet. Their parents have put such a sense of fear into them about abduction; the idea of having fun is replaced with cautiousness towards anything foreign to them. The removal of corporal punishment in the public school system has lead to a systematic breakdown of respect towards our teachers. Children these days are allowed to disrespect their teachers, their parents & any adult in society. Back in the day this behavior wasn't tolerated in the schools or the home. If you disrespected a teacher then you were paddled by the principal; if you disrespected your parents you had a belt taken to you. Today, teachers are fired for physical punishment & parents are taking to jail in hand cuffs for doing the right thing. With the development of cable television & the Internet, children are exposed to scantily clad pop stars dancing like they were strippers, other young children in compromising sexual situations & programs perpetuating graphic violence. When I was a kid we had 3 channels on the television & Charlie's Angels was as close to porn for us. We watched Gilligan's Island, Mr Rogers & Bozo the clown....then went outside to play with our friends wearing jeans, a t-shirt & tennis shoes. Their were no medications to cure our conditions, we weren't ADD, we were just not very smart. We weren't autistic, we were brilliant but a little different. Now, with the cellular phone explosion, children can be tracked by their parents & don't even have conversations as texting is the greatest thing. All these pall in comparison to the U.S. debt these children have inherited from our government. It is estimated that every child under the age of eighteen has inherited $72,000 in debt when they can't even get a credit card until the age of eighteen. It is truly sad that our society has done this to our kids. I believe that somewhere out there in a small town kids are allowed to be kids & they don't know any better...or worse. Good for them.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett kid at heart
p.s. the picture above could of been the Pewett boys rolling our Big Wheels down our driveway, taking that hair pin turn & jumping the curb right into the shrubs. It was some of the most fun 2 kids could ever have.

2012 To Do List

Well it is that time of the year to plan my life for the next year & I can't think of a better place than the world wide web to do so. I believe it helps to write down dreams, goals & desires so you reread them, theoretically every day to reinforce ones commitment. I still have former goals hidden throughout my life & find it humorous rereading them to see which ones I actually accomplished. Soooooo, with that in mind....I present my 2012 New Year's Resolutions.

1. get back into shape. Over the past 3 years my job has ruined my workouts & that is going to change. I have committed to myself, friends & now here to put the iron to the fire so to speak. I'm going to run the Music City 1/2 marathon for the 4th & maybe final time.

2.Become a minimalist. I am going to sell everything that isn't absolutely necessary. I'm kicking around the idea of selling everything at the flea market with a sign saying "Ripper's no garage sale" All proceeds will go towards my world travel fund.

3.Get back to helping others i.e. Safehaven Family Shelter. I was an overnight volunteer for 2 years & quite frankly got burned out. This time with the help of friends, I'm going to sign up monthly for the dinner detail. We will provide dinner for the families & clean up afterwards. I also want to take the families to a Sounds game & rent the outfield stands. I will be working with my buddy A.J. with the Sounds & my other friends for $.

4.Quit wearing ties or nooses on my soul as i like to call them. I will go more into detail about this in later posts.

5.Finish the Yelo Sub restoration...finally! My 1972 Olds Cutlass Supreme convertible is about 3 steps away from finito. I need my front end rebuilt(no shit), install my cd/ipod player & speakers then have my blinker switch replaced. Once these minor things are completed I am donating my faithful Cherokee to the Mike Ervin hunting camp. I will be living the dream of cruising in the Yelo Sub on a daily basis.

6.Start researching my Ex-pat locale. I've decided that I'm not going down with this sinking ship known as the U.S.A. it has become quite clear to me that our politicians have no desire to ever do anything but the status quo & that isn't going to work. It is my belief that in 5-10 years this country will go bankrupt, there will be citizens rioting in the streets & our way of life will be over. The silver lining in this is I will be reading about it on a beach, drinking cold beer with a girl half my age. My short list is Australia & New Zealand, Cuba or Costa Rica.

I think I will stop here as these 6 are pretty lofty goals & i just ate fajitas so i need to take a siesta sitting up right in my chair wearing this noose of a tie. The picture is of my first tattoo which is a pair of lips on my ass that symbolizes my belief if you don't like my life you can keep your opinion to yourself & kiss my ass. Until next time.....Happy New Year!

Cheers,

Rip

I never thought I would make it to 45.....now what?

June 27th, 1981-the day my father was killed. He was 45 yrs old, successful, handsome,funny & larger than life to his 15 year old son....he was also my motivation. I wouldn't have this revelation to later in my own life. I aspired to greatness & was mentally tough even as a child, so I could win the approval of my dad. Once he was gone & the circumstances of his death came to light; I lost faith in the world as I had known it as a child. It had become a brutal place that takes everything & forgives no one. I set out on a self destructive path that at times, amazes me I'm still on this Earth. I believed that all things end in time & applied this to my relationships, jobs & just about every other area of my life. It was not a matter of if but when; so I went into it with the end in mind. I coined the phrase "Committee of One" & began distancing myself from my family, friends & even God. At this point I should tell you I have never been a very religious person but I do hope at the end of the road there is a better place to go but I'm not sure that the Bible isn't just the best book ever written by man. So I continued on a path that lead me where the wind blew always trying to do the right thing for the right reasons. I've literally made hundreds of mistakes & bad decisions but I've never hurt anyone intentionally. So, what to do now. “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” ― Confucius Bottom line....I want to see the world, find treasure, take pictures & write about it. I will never reach my potential which is limitless, unless I do every one of these & soon damn it! I don't know how much time I have left but one thing is for sure; I never thought I would make it to 45 & now I've got to get busy. Until next time.

Cheers,

Rip 45 yr old dreamer & wanderer

Women need men more than men need women?

I was knocking back a few cold beers at the Sunday watering hole when a man turned the fan away from us & put it on his group. It was a 100 degrees outside & with no AC in the Brewhouse this was a immediate concern of our group. It turned out that his wife had told him to do it. I started pondering which gender needs the other more & here is my determination. I will start with the ladies as it is the polite thing to do.

Top 10 reasons women need men

1. Killing of bugs, snakes or Bigfoot. The majority of women are either scared or disgusted by these creatures & don't have the stomach for such things.

2. To listen to them complain about their boss or other girlfriends. You may get off easy if she has a girlfriend with the same boss & they can complain together; leaving you out of it but most likely she will just repeat the process wasting 10-15 minutes of your life you will never get back.

3.Going to the liquor store or beer store. Nothing sexy or proper about a woman walking out of the liquor store with a box o wine or fifth of bourbon...screams I'm a single drunk.

4.There are some obvious ones & I will group them together. They include taking out the trash, unpacking & repacking the Christmas decorations & getting the mail as well as the daily paper. They just don't want to do it.

5.Driving a vehicle. Women have too much going on when they are in the car to be worried about actually driving the car & plus they don't know where the hell they are going. I've witnessed a woman on her morning commute driving with her elbows as she smokes in one hand & applies make up with the other. Not to mention having to park said vehicle.

6.Making a woman feel petite & safe. A woman needs to feel if things turn dicey in a situation that you will & more importantly can protect her. Also you should make them feel like a girl by being a man, not a metro-sexual that wears nicer outfits than she does.

7.Have a good paying job. Telling her girlfriends, mom & sisters that you are currently looking for gainful employment isn't cool. Today's liberated woman doesn't mind paying a tab or two but they sure as hell don't want to have to pay your light bill to get your power turned on.

8.Buying her flowers, cards & taking her to dinner then a movie. It is what her father did for her mother & she needs you to do the same. Buying her own & having them sent to her office is expensive & dining alone then movie is leprous or widowish. Also we can mention Valentine's Day, weddings & Christmas parties. Women are pitied if they are dateless on these occasions.

9.Listening to her. I know this one can be tough. She may even try to talk about something serious when she is butt ass naked & expect you to get every word. The key is to nod alot & say yea of course without staring at her boobs. Also saying you are sorry if you are wrong or if she catches you staring at her boobs.

10.I saved the best for last. Women need men to make them have multiple orgasms. Sure, they can self pleasure but that can get mundane. They want you to do all the things above so when they get you in the bedroom, elevator or on the washing machine they can get off multiple times...can't stress this enough, orgasm gets you replaced, multiple orgasms gets you presents & free booze.

Whew, that was tough. Now on to the easy part.....why men need women.

1.Going to the grocery store. We hate the entire process. It is always crowded, we have to actually think about combining ingredients when Krystal had done it for us the night before & we always forget numerous items.

2.We need women to scratch our backs. Can't get the entire area without separating a shoulder & another man scratching your back is gay. Same goes for applying sunscreen & reminding us we should use it.

3.Carrying leftover to go food out of the restaurant. A real man will always finish his meal but sometimes, there is too much to eat in one meal. If you are good, which i am you combine her leftovers with yours & ultimately she forgets leaving you with 2 extra meals. It is an art.

4.Reach for your purse from time to time. I know if is alot of fun to eat, drink & be merry on your man's tab but he needs you to pick up the tab every now & again.

5.We need women to clean the casa. I personally am not too much of a slob but I hate to dust, vacuum & well the entire bathroom is neglected if left to me. I will bribe you with chick flick, dinner or whatever you need to make this happen plus I'll say thanks.

6.I count on my girlfriends(friends that are girls) to explore the crazy level of potential sweet young vixens. I do this by watching said vixen interact with people in the crowd until we have a mutual friend. I then text said friend to get the low down on the vixen. Works like a charm as long as friend doesn't spill the beans when I go to the big boys room.

7.We need women to wear sexy clothing & lingerie. Yea you would probably look good in a potato sack as I have in the past but a woman wearing a tight pair of jeans, top showing off the tatas & a perfect pair of thongs just showing enough will get us drooling every time. I also am a big fan of a tall, sexy woman wearing cargo pants as well. Did I also mention hats drive this man crazy?!

8.I need a woman to have a great sense of humor or she is going to think I'm an idiot....which I can be(see drooling above). If you cannot laugh at yourself & others then you are on a path of bitterness & regret later in life. It is a one of the best traits in the world if you can laugh at just about every bad situation. I believe it relieves stress & therefore prolongs your silly life.

9.Men need women for fashion sense. This one is very important as most men hate to shop for clothes almost as bad as groceries. If left on our own we will stumble into a store with the hottest blond 21 yr old working & leave the store with a hard on dressed like Justin Beeber.

10.O.K. now to the R to X portion of what men need from women....sex & lots of it! We need you to check your parent's issues about the subject at the door. It is your sex life & you need to be a willing & eager participant or you run the risk of being replaced by a newer, hornier model. Don't be afraid to experiment with new toys, positions, & places. We need for you to enjoy oral pleasure(giving as well as receiving), morning luvin & dirty talk. We also have no problem sharing a shower anytime you feel the need to clean your dirty body. I really could go on & on with this one but you get the idea. Have fun & do it alot!

Well, that pretty much sums up my thoughts about the needs of the opposite sex & should be taken with a grain of salt by rational people. The picture is of some foreign hottie that I have never met & have no idea her needs as a non-American woman but I imagine she would be close on alot of these. Until next time remember a famous quote by one of my favorite women" It is God's biggest joke putting men & women on the same planet & expecting them to get along!"Bev

Cheers,

Rip Pewett a man with many needs

Beer my friend, you have weighted me down

Since the beginning of time beer has been a vital part of every civilization & consumed with great zeal. Sadly for my civilization & me personally was the invention of cameras. These devices have saved images of me when I was a much younger & slimmer man. I realize that our metabolism slows as we get older among other things, but it is my belief that beer or my love of said beer is directly responsible for my belly, double chin & fat face. Throughout our lives we must make commitments that prove we have willpower & giving up my dear friend cold beer for at least a month is one of those times. I jest that I don't have too many vices but beer is one of my favorites. I drink beer to unwind from a stressful day, as my social beverage of choice & let's be honest....I really enjoy it. My goal is to lose at least 35 lbs by the end of August & giving up coldies is the main component. I also have been green lighted by my Vanderbilt Hospital (shitty football team...great hospital) cardiologist to resume exercise & I am fine tuning my diet to jumpstart my metabolism. I am on Day 9 of the no beer plan & feeling good. Well, I gave myself a Sunday Funday beer waiver & to tell the truth; the 1st ones at the the Crow's Nest didn't taste very good. I chalked it up to the beer lines being dirty & headed to my Sunday honey hole...Brewhouse. It felt good to have a few 2 for 1 coldies until a storm rolled up in there & I had to exit stage left. I switched back to wine once I made it to the safety of the condo & woke up this morning feeling like ass. I've decided to continue on with the no beer diet through the summer & just see how much weight I lose & how much better I feel. I will institute the Sunday Funday waiver when necessary as it isn't cool to drink liquor when it is 90 plus degrees outside & 2 for 1. I was also just lucky enough to have a friend who is a waitress in the sky for United who is a sweetheart & brought me 5 VB(Victoria Bitter) beers & a tall voluptuous redhead from down under(Australia). I forgot to mention that we had to taste 2 of them Friday night...oops. I am excited about getting back into the pool & the gym....hopefully i will lose between 35-45lbs this summer & be able to fit back into some of my cool skinnier clothing. Until next time....
Cheers,
Rip Pewett

Top 10 signs that you have lost your mancard

I was driving around on this beautiful day in Nashville & really didn't have a care in the world until I drove by this man who had obviously given up his mancard. This vision is disturbing for me as I do believe that love between two people is a wonderful thing as long as you don't lose who you were before this grand event took place. I realized that I hadn't posted anything in a while & this mancard topic was worthy. So, in no particular order I present the top 10 signs that you have lost your mancard & no "buying your girl feminine hygiene products" isn't on the list because it is a given.
1.Walking a little dog such as a shitzu, miniature whatever, pug or lapsa ugly so. If you have to carry plastic gloves to pick up the shit then a sniper should put you out of your misery.
2. Getting married during SEC football season. I was engaged when my bride to be said" I've always wanted to have an October wedding!" & in a very empathetic moment I retorted "Have you met the groom yet?" Needless to say, we didn't work out & she did marry a guy during SEC football season.
3. If you show up in a public place wearing the same outfit as your significant other. Was it a buy one get the other free deal or what?
4. Owning a cat that doesn't come from the woods or a foreign country. A cat is an animal that is like a woman....plotting your demise while you sleep. Get rid of it girlie man.
5. A convertible that 9 out of 10 people drive are women! Miata, Sebring, & VW Cabriolet are gay & so are you probably. I drive a 1972 Olds Cutlass Supreme Convertible & that is how a convertible is done. That guarantees my man card for life.
6. Wearing a bow tie! Even the guy that sold it to you is laughing.
7. Not liking sports! Once again you are probably gay. The rivalry, the gameday experience & that girls have to gives us a waiver for almost anything we do while we are watching sports is worth it's weight in gold!
8. Going to a 1 yr olds birthday party. Bottom line is the the kid isn't going to remember you being there & u should go to a strip club, get hammered & have the girl pick you up after.
9. Saying make love....it's what girls call fucking!
10. Last but not least......voting Democrat. Nothing says I'm a girlie man more than believing in the principles of the Democratic party of not thinking for yourself & believing we should help people who are not willing to help themselves.
O.K. that pretty much sums it up & as always I could go on & on but you get the point. Be a man & stand up for yourself. Say no to the people(chicks) that want to neuter you mentally & say "what would Rip do?"
Until next time.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett lifetime man card carrier
the pic is of Webb Wilder....one of the last of the full grown men & man card lifetime member!

March is officially White History Month...aka Whitey month

Well, February came & went along with another round of the Black History Month celebrating all the great accomplishments of Black Americans. I never have understood why the entire population of the United Sates(320 plus million) should be subjected to this when the population of Black Americans is roughly 13% or 41.6 million of all Americans. Ironically they make up over 51% of the prison population. I decided that White Americans should have their own month & we would celebrate all that White Americans have done. No better place to start than George Washington the father of our great country, general in our colonial army & the 1st President of the these United States of America. He had a great vision of breaking away from England's rule & forming a free country were opportunity was available to every man. Yes, he was a slave owner but well loved by his slaves & as he became older believed it was wrong. Next on my list Walter Camp, who is credited with being the founder of modern day college football. This man has done more to make my life enjoyable than almost anyone else except the inventor of beer or thongs. The game day ritual of tailgating, the Vol Walk & the awe of Neyland Stadium on Saturday all started with Mr.Camp. The next one on my list is Jacques Cousteau who invented the SCUBA system & yes I know he was French but gave him a waiver. I became a scuba(Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus) diver back in 1993. Since then I have sucked compressed air in numerous exotic locales & seen things under the water no one else has. The incredible colors of the animals, coral & water have always left me in awe of mother nature. Roy Raymond is the next great white male on my list, he only invented the modern day Victoria's Secret. I have never met this man but safe to say I love him & all he has done for me & our gender. I will assume that he also invented the thong even though some chick probably did. The last entry will actually be a pair who invented air flight, the Wright Brothers. Although many others have been linked to this discovery, I am from the South & so were the Wright Brothers(North Carolina) so I'm going with them. These guys were the guys that pioneered modern day 747 airplanes & F-22 Raptors. They get me to Australia & destroy my enemies from above...good stuff! As always i could go on & on about endless white Americans who have made huge contributions to the development of this great country. Please do not think that I am a racist or don't believe Black Americans have contributed to this great country; I just don't think they should have an entire month to celebrate these accomplishments. Cheers, Rip Pewett a white American p.s. the picture is of the greatest white American in my book, my brother Ryan. He grew up with me, endured the same hardships I did & overcame them all to be a great husband, father & brother!

Think about it, do it & don't regret it

Who doesn't have regrets, a person that isn't honest with themselves. We all have made mistakes in life & therefore have regrets; but it is important to learn from them & not dwell on the experience. I believe it is equally important when making decisions that you weigh the pros & cons of the situation then act without regret. So many of us are so unsure of which direction to take that with stay on the same boring path because ultimately it is safe & we are afraid of failing. I love the old adage "You can't steal 2nd base with your foot on 1st". I am the poster child for "baptism by fire" or learning by doing. My father was killed when I was 15 & he wasn't around to teach me how to drive, how to manage money or how to be the bigger man & walk away. So I wrecked some cars, ruined some credit & whipped alot of knuckleheads but i learned from it & I sure don't regret it. I was doing the best I could with pretty much no guidance. I learned too many valuables lessons to list here but some of my favorites are treat people the way you want to be treated, protect those that cannot protect themselves & learn to laugh at yourself because you will do stupid, laughable things. A man that cannot laugh at himself will always regret when he makes mistakes but a man that can laugh at himself will be laughing & not regretting his actions. I have 3 tattoos & thought about it, did it & never once regretted it. I had 2 elderly men at the Green Hills YMCA see my ankle bracelet tattoos & one asked me..."Boy what on Earth made you do that to your body?!" to which I replied "Oh I hear they will wash off when I'm dead". I wish you could have seen the horrific looks on these fellas faces...priceless. Judge not least ye be judged. These guys probably have done nothing exciting or with risk in their entire lives & that is sad. I could go on & on with my experiences but that isn't my reason for this; I want you to remember the times you have made your life more enjoyable because you thought about it, you did it & you don't regret it! "Go in the directions of your dreams & live the life you have imagined'. The picture is the logo of Old Van Halen(greatest rock band ever) & it is one of the charms on my left ankle bracelet & yes it hurt like hell but zero regrets.:0
Until next time,
Rip Pewett

I'm officially announcing my bid to be the next President of the United States of America

Well the time has come for me to step out from behind the scenes & pull this country out of it's death roll. I have stood by & watched President Obama lie, cheat & steal his way to being the worst president in the history of this great country. I don't expect much competition from him as he will be busy on some reality show or playing hoops with Will Smith during the election. I feel that i owe it to the American people & their children to lay out my platform in great detail so we will all know how I'm going to fix this country.

1. Bring our troops home from Afghanistan & South Korea. We don't need troops on the ground to find Bin Laden. Pull the troops out & wait for someone to spot him. Once he is spotted I will deploy a full squadron of B-52 stratofortress bombers to carpet bomb the shit out of his stronghold. Problem solved. The 28,000 troops in South Korea will be redeployed along the U.S. Mexican border. We will put snipers in towers along the 50ft wall built by American contractors. Job stimulation & border security will be the result of this course of action.

2.Bring every Czar that Obama appointed to the White House & have them arrested as most of them are criminals anyway. If some are innocent then I will send them a apology card & fruit cake for their troubles.

3.Set term limits on Congress to a maximum of 2 terms & revoke the lifetime pension for members of Congress. It is a privilege to serve your country & you shouldn't receive any lifetime benefit for it. Also if you guilty of a crime while serving in Congress, if convicted you are sentenced to Levinworth Federal Prison with the military convicts...no censure allowed.

4.I will address the United Nations & inform all the leaders of the world that all aid will be cut off to countries that harbor terrorists, burn our flags or if you just hate us cause we are cool. Once you make the list, it will be impossible to get off it.

5.Student visas & work visas will be suspended for 10years. We are training our enemies in our universities & allowing our enemies to work amongst us. Also tourist visa will only be issued after a through background check.

6.I will sponsor a bill that legalizes the sale of marijuana & will tax the hell out of it to go solely towards our National debt.

7.I will raise taxes on actors, professional athletes & billionaires. They have gotten rich on the backs of the lower & middle class fans. All these taxes will go towards the National debt as well.

8.I will abolish Obama's Healthcare plan the moment I get the keys to the White House & will replace it with a program that mandates new doctors must serve 5 years in a government run hospital that deals with Medicaid & Medicare patients exclusively. Drug companies will be forced to sell drugs to these facilities at cost. This will totally control the cost of healthcare to the elderly, the poor & the illegal aliens in this country.Everybody else has insurance & it is working!

9.I will legalize off shore drilling anywhere that we find large reserves. The endangered species will move or die. I also will broker a deal with the government of Iraqi to pump all the free oil we can for the 10 years we have been in their country & after 10 years we will pump oil at cost for as long as we have a military presence in Iraq. Oil prices will plummet & yet again the profits will go directly to the debt.

10.I will focus on a Made in America agenda that will promote, encourage & fund business in America. I will also pass a tax on luxury items such as cars, planes & boats that are manufactured outside of our country. You got it, the profits will go directly towards our debt.

11.You get the idea of my agenda to bring this great country back from stupidity to AWESOMENESS! But in order to really fix this country we must fix the current college football mess known as the BCS. We will go to a playoff system with the 16 highest ranked teams vying for the National Championship. The teams will play the quarterfinals,semifinals & finals in the same sites that have the bowls with the finals alternating between the Fiesta,Rose,Sugar & Orange Bowl. No questions about who the National Champion is when it is proven on the field.

I probably need to get busy collecting signatures & choosing a Vice-President. I hope I'm elected so I can get this country back on track & if the Russians don't shake my hand at the Arms Treaty talks(see Obama snubbed by Russians) I'll light them up with nukes. Remember to vote in 2012 for Rip Pewett...the tallest candidate.
Cheers,
Rip
p.s.in lieu of debating President Obama, I will challenge him in a game of one on one basketball & school his lame ass.

You can't get them all but boy you can try;)

It has been a long time since I felt inspired to write my thoughts. I have been coasting through life without many cares & sadly very little inspiration until last night. I was at the Corner Pub in Green Hills to retrieve a fleece jacket I left there after the UT game Saturday when a blast from the past strolled through the door. She & I reminisced about our college days & what was going on in our current lives. Time flys when you are talking with a stunning woman about the glory days of college. We went our separate ways & I started thinking about the women of my life that for whatever reason I never was able to compromise.(see naked) I've always loved the Seinfeld show & the unique ways Jerry always lost the pretty girl. With that being noted, here are the Top 10 beautiful women in no particular order that got away & the unique reason for each.

1. Betsy Scofield-she dated & loved one of my best friends-that is where bros vs hos is tested & proven.

2.Andrea Parrish-not really sure about this other than she has a twin & maybe I couldn't make up my mind or she caught me eyeing her sister's spectacular boobs

3.Rachel Cunningham-hubba hubba & super sassy-once again dated & loved one of my best friends-a trend is developing here

4.Kim Huff-childhood friend that moved away...i had a kiddie boner for her

5.Penny Crook-this one is especially painful as timing just never worked out with her numerous times & now we aren't friends because of it...unfortunate.

6.Susan Jenkins-sooooo close but alas one of my best friends wouldn't take one for the team & be a true wingman.

7.Jenny Williams-just didn't work out but alot of fun. Even told her best friend I had compromised her only to have Jenny call me the very next day. Needless to say it was a conversation were i did most of the talking & apoligizing. What can I say I was 21yrs old.

8.Monique Gibson-this one hurts because I actually chose to blow her off for another girl who in retrospect doesn't hold a candle to Monique....big mistake

9.Kelly Kline-i'm a bad breaker upper, always have been. I was trying to crawfish back with my ex-fiancee when I met this tall drink of water. Had one fun Super Bowl party night!

10.Leslie Revill-one of my favorites & once again timing killed me again. She & I just hit it off but I was with another woman...oh well

Well that was alot of fun to remember the fishes that got away & laugh about it. I've been very fortunate through my life to be with alot of beautiful women inside & out. Another chapter in these are the memories that make me a wealthy soul. Until the next inspiration.

Cheers,

Rip Pewett amateur fisherman

p.s.picture is of #10 Leslie Revill(sweet young vixen)

10 signs of a Democrat

I sometimes ponder about people & why they behave in the manner to which they do. You can break it down to politics....they are either Republicans(right) or Democrats(wrong). Here are 10(there alot more) tell tale signs that a person is a Democrat.

1.the person that doesn't pay attention when the turn signal at an intersection goes green & ruins it for no less than 5 cars behind them that were paying attention.

2.if you own a foreign sub-compact or mid size vehicle. They don't understand that these purchases send money to other countries. Obviously Republicans understand this but work hard for their money & want the best cars available. I am the exception in that I am a Republican that will never own a foreign ride.

3.if you believe World Peace is a realistic obtainable goal....it will never happen

4.if you think you are too good to park in a parking space & choose to park in front of a place of business.

5.if you are an actor/actress or a musician. These people don't live in the real world & pretty much have other people wipe their asses for them.

6.if you are a vegan or vegetarian & feel the need to tell everybody because you are taking a stand. I'm a lesbatarian but you don't see me walking around annoying people with that little detail. No one cares.

7.if you believe the media is truthful & not biased at all!

8.if you believe we should save Darfur, free Tibet & help any country that hates us. Save America, free us from our growing debt & ONLY help our allies!

9.if you live in California, New York or not the extended South.

10.if you were dumb enough to vote for Obama even after all the facts you knew about him.

I could go on & on about the signs that a person is a Democrat but it would piss us both off.

Until next time....stay to the right & vote on Nov 2 before it is too late!!!!!!

Rip Pewett Republican

25 likes & dislikes....Vol 2

In my last post I mentioned that it wouldn't take long for someone to piss me off & trigger my 25 dislikes. I'll start there.


1.brain dead rednecks-Dad always said he disliked them worse than bad blacks(trying to keep it clean), because they were born with the advantage of being born white & just didn't get it.





2.Democrats-they want to help people who don't want to help themselves & that is stupidity in it's simplest form.





3.Mean hearted people-I've hurt people throughout my life but I never did it intentionally...mean people do.





4. the common fly-no real purpose for their existence but to gross me out!





5.no turn on red sign-most broken law by me





6.metal clothes hangers-they really piss me off





7.the idea that world peace is possible.....it isn't, people have been fighting since the beginning of time.





8.giving money to countries that hate us & conspire against us! fuck them & let them eat sand





9.neck ties-i consider them a noose on my soul





10.traitors-in a time of war they should be executed(you know who you are)





11.allergies-no fun living in Tennessee





12.ear & nose hair-it is gross, keep it trimmed. manscape the other as well.





13.the French-this one is more of a hate. their arrogance amazes me for a chicken shit country that won't stand up for itself. We should of let Germany keep them.





14.not being able to get breakfast & lunch at the same time at McDonalds(egg mctasty,country ham biscuit & fries)





15.traffic jams that last forever & when you get to the cause of the delay....you still can't figure out why traffic was slowed.





16.cheap people-I'd rather you stand over my grave & call me an asshole(that can be true) than to call me cheap. spend it....you can't take it with you





17.cats-they are Satan's creatures plus I'm allergic to them. could be worse.....i could be allergic to the other.





18.Van Hagar-Van Halen is my favorite band & Sammy Hagar should never have followed Diamond David Lee Roth.





19.men driving chick convertibles-miatas & sebrings ain't cool





20.i really dislike the word mandatory-it implies authority over me



21.cemeteries-people should never be put in the ground. Cremate me & spread half of me over God's stadium(Neyland) & the other half over the Great Barrier Reef



22.Haveto Day-Mondays



23.women who are so insecure they have to separate their men from their friends. i lost a wife & best friend for that reason



24.crazy women-i don't care who screwed you up.....it wasn't me



25.last but not least I ABSOLUTELY DISLIKE THE ENTIRE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION & THE CURRENT SEATED CONGRESS!!!!!!!!!! YA'LL SUCK



Well, I feel better. Now you know what I like & what I dislike.

Cheers,

Rip Pewett
p.s. ohhhhhh, and the picture is of Vanderbilt's Memorial Gym....I hate Vanderbilt fans.

My 25 likes & dislikes

I go through my daily routine & usually find humor in all situations; I guess it is a type of coping mechanism so I don't blow a fuse but every now & again I feel the need to vent....so here goes. I will start on a positive note so we all understand that my glass is over half full to say the least.

25 likes

1.UT & college football-the history, the rivalries & the excitement not to mention the whole game day experience(45 days until season opener)

2.scuba diving-there is so much beauty in the ocean, so much freedom when you dive & I am in a sunny locale.

3. 1972 Olds Cutlass Supreme Convertible-it is yellow.

4.the smell of wood burning-even when my house burned to the ground as a kid I still liked the way it smelled-it was mentioned that I was probably in shock.

5.Seafood-i feel for people that don't like scrimps,lobster,grouper,scallops & fried craw claws.

6.My passport-my legal document that allows me to take adventures all over the world.

7.having a sense of humor....if you ain't got one, you are boring!

8.banana puddin-have had 2 sweet young vixens that claim to make the best in the world...1 does;)
9.roller coasters- love the thrill of being out of control & going fast!

10.Cold beer.....it is my vice, my relaxation juice & my social beverage of choice.

11.movies via Netflix...i can escape reality on the futon, i can pause to go potty or get another glass of vino.
12.Thongs-something soooooo sexy about seeing a hottie w/thongs peeking out at me

13.rewarding myself with a present. we all work hard(sometimes) & it is nice to say fuck it.....i want this
14.diet mt dew.....I'm all jacked up on diet mt dew! i don't drink coffee & I've probably had 10 glasses of ice tea my entire life
15.the beach.....I'm a big fan of the white beaches of the panhandle of Florida...lots of great memories from childhood, college & as an adult
16.living in the greatest country in the World....yep it is, just travel anywhere & you will see that we have it pretty damn good compared to everyone else.
17.the Internet....porn, UT football,google,buy stuff, plan travel....my website www.onmeway.com
etc.....
18.the sun....yes it makes life possible but I'm talking about all the fun in the sun...poolside w/girls in bikinis, getting a tan & riding around topless
19.extended travel....6 weeks in Australia w/nothing to do but have adventure after adventure is one of the most liberating experiences you will ever have.
20.Committee of one....being single allows me to do whatever the hell I want!

21.giving....my time, my money & anything that someone needs or likes better than I like it
22.Chinese food, Mexican food & fish tacos......good stuff!
23.tall women 5'9" & above to ride this ride.....it is my niche market cuz tall girls like to be able to wear heels, be small & feel safe.
24.watching planes fly overhead....commercial airliners make me wonder where i will be going next, military planes make me wonder who we are gonna light up next....I'm a huge war hawk
25.....last but most important...I like my memories. It is the only thing you would have if you were on a beach naked.
O.K. that pretty much sums up my likes & I think I will stop there. I'm on a way too positive note to start bashing on my dislikes! Don't worry, somebody will piss me off soon enough & my next post will be my dislikes.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett likes.......

4th of July-Independence from reality

Today is the day that our nation celebrates the colonies of America breaking away from the tyranny of Great Britain to form the greatest country in the world...the United States of America. To often we forget the struggles that our ancestors endured to build this great country. We have survived civil war, the Great Depression & many natural disasters. Through all of these tests what kept our country going was hope & the belief that all setbacks are temporary. I'm here to tell you that over 50% of our country does not believe what is happening to this country is a temporary setback. We believe it is a well thought out plan to systematically destroy our way of life. What if me & all of my Facebook friends behave like our current administration did? What if every single one of us were already deeply in debt but went to another lender & borrowed 100 times the amount we already owe at a astronomical interest rate? Then we all went to our employer & said you are going to have to raise our salary to cover this additional debt. Oh, I'm also not going to tell you why I did this or what I'm gonna do with this money. You know what would happen...we would be fired as the guys in the white jackets were putting the straight jacket on us! That is exactly what needs to happen to Obuma & all of his cronies. Fire them for what they are doing to this great country. I liken certain Democrats as ostriches; as they put their heads in the sand so they don't have to listen or watch what they have done. I am seeing many of them cringe as they see their President laugh & cut up on the beach as he visits the Gulf oil disaster. Even the most left wing are noticing when the Russian delegation didn't shake Obuma's hand at the arms treaty talk & realize our biggest rival doesn't respect him. The Democrats will be the ones that change this country back when they become sick & tired of his lies as well as when they accept that he is soooooo far in over his head & so are his advisers. Change is good, you wanted change & you voted for it. Now accept the fact you made a colossal mistake & fix it before it is too late. If is your kids that will suffer & you will have no one to blame but yourself. I don't have any kids(that i know about) & I have a passport....I will be fine. I can live on a dive boat in Australia, drinking better beer & watching the Vols on satellite t.v. You can't leave as you have to raise your family in a country that is going down the drain. Start today on the anniversary of other brave souls who were willing to do whatever it took to build a great nation! The picture is of some of our crew & I'm going to convince them to go out and borrow 100 more debt than they currently have then ask their boss for a raise to cover the debt. I will keep you posted.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett one fed up American

We are all guilty for what is happening to this country....some more than others

I was driving to work today and as the road narrowed I was passed by a 5 series BMW followed closely by a Porsche 911 Carrera. Both of these foreign luxury cars were speeding, driving somewhat recklessly & saying to the world...look at me. I started thinking about the problems we face in this country & one of the greatest mistakes our country made was allowing foreign car manufacturers easy access to our markets. The next time you are in a traffic jam & have some time on your hands...look at 20 cars near you & you'll see at least half of these vehicles are foreign! I understand that the Germans, Swedes & Japanese make fine cars but so do the Americans. The real problem is with our society & the arrogance of the wealthy. They feel they have worked hard for their money & should reward themselves with the best toys the world has to offer. The problem with this is they never give thought to where their hard earned money lands. At first glance it would appear to go to their local dealership but in reality is going to a foreign country & improving their bottom line, not the U.S. I am also aware that alot of purchases are by the middle & lower class as well. I don't want to dwell on these classes too much because they believe that the Japanese make the most fuel efficient cars in the world; so it is a money driven decision. Our law makers have ruined other industries as well. Electronics, apparel & liquor come to mind. We have to have the Samsung T.V., the Hugo Boss suit & the Crown Royal(yes I am guilty as well). But if we did any research at all, we would find that RCA makes great tvs, Tom James sells far better suits & Jack Daniels will due just fine. Once again we find ourselves giving away our country so we can live the high life. Buy American or leave should be our slogan & we should follow it when it comes to our major purchases. I understand that I am teetering on the cliff of hypocrisy by starting an import/export company but I'm not talking about art, crafts & widgets...I'm talking about major purchases that effect our economy. These things are housing, cars, appliances & electronics. We could pull ourselves out of this recession & debt cesspool by giving tax breaks to Americans who are loyal to our manufacturers & levy a luxury tax on the people who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves. The Australians have been doing this for years & it works! Pictured is my Yelosub, a 1972 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme convertible & it is 100% American baby...just like me. For the record I have never owned a foreign vehicle & never will! Get with it people or sooner or later there won't be anything left of us & the U.S.A.
Cheers,
Rip Pewett proud purchaser of American made products